Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Several
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
