I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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