holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
