Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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