Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
