whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
