I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
