you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
