i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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