At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize