thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
