Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
