whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"