I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
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is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT