Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.