Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
