I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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