Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
