You work out of a Hotel?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
