p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
