A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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