I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize