Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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