i think my mom watched the whole time
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
