K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
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he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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