Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
