The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
