Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
