Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
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My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
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I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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