A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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