can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
