You smell like a Billy Joel song
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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