Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
babies were throwing up all over the place
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
