i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
