the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
