Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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