it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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