so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I cannot find my penis.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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