hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
