porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Be still, my beating vagina.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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