What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
