didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Ketchup is God's man juice
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The air was thick with penises
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize