Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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