nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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