i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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