yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
