Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
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Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
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It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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