You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
