We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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