did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
