can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
