Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
