I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
