if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right