come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me