I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.