Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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