Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
