Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I gave up sex with dolphins for you.

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  (815): I gave up sex with dolphins for you. http://tfl.nu/rt8h
  Replies (10) Good night (1345) Bad night (821)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Come over? It's my birthday

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  How many times has that text failed you tonight?

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  (203): Come over? It's my birthday (267): How many times has that text failed you tonight? http://tfl.nu/a6z6
  Replies (19) Good night (1008) Bad night (8009)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.

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  (401): We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night. http://tfl.nu/piwb
  Replies (12) Good night (8218) Bad night (1213)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.

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  (705): She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air. http://tfl.nu/d5pp
  Replies (10) Good night (4523) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.

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  (401): it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher. http://tfl.nu/14gf
  Replies (16) Good night (5360) Bad night (1309)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission

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  (216): you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission http://tfl.nu/qszs
  Replies (7) Good night (4406) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..

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  (306): the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day.. http://tfl.nu/nazl
  Replies (3) Good night (2584) Bad night (1133)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.

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  (360): Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning. http://tfl.nu/92kl
  Replies (18) Good night (2905) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.

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  (512): Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here. http://tfl.nu/r3kt
  Replies (14) Good night (3684) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis

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  (607): Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis http://tfl.nu/770f
  Replies (8) Good night (2011) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life

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  (647): I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life http://tfl.nu/d1p7
  Replies (4) Good night (1163) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.

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  (713): The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross. http://tfl.nu/mx32
  Replies (3) Good night (727) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...

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  (814): Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September... http://tfl.nu/x7my
  Replies (5) Good night (1810) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.

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  (907): I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer. http://tfl.nu/7eiw
  Replies (8) Good night (1273) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex

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  (336): I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex http://tfl.nu/yoqe
  Replies (3) Good night (1184) Bad night (437)

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