Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.

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(720): More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun. http://tfl.nu/f0pl

Replies (4) Good night (616) Bad night (789)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I hate bills.

(479): View more from Arkansas

Like ones you have to pay or people named William?

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(513): I hate bills. (479): Like ones you have to pay or people named William? http://tfl.nu/wp4z

Replies (11) Good night (2488) Bad night (586)
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(707): View more from California

Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.

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(707): Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping. http://tfl.nu/7pjn

Replies (47) Good night (3449) Bad night (1225)
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(540): View more from Virginia

we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated

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(540): we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated http://tfl.nu/hyb4

Replies (17) Good night (5289) Bad night (1628)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

tonight lets celebrate not being married

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(318): tonight lets celebrate not being married http://tfl.nu/u5lc

Replies (19) Good night (6874) Bad night (811)
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(914): View more from New York

Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.

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(914): Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall. http://tfl.nu/ft7q

Replies (12) Good night (3135) Bad night (511)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar

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(732): i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar http://tfl.nu/z6xf

Replies (9) Good night (3264) Bad night (817)
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(515): View more from Iowa

When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"

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(515): When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation" http://tfl.nu/vmn5

Replies (10) Good night (3531) Bad night (1015)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me

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(773): I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me http://tfl.nu/kij5

Replies (9) Good night (1595) Bad night (813)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.

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(937): I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt. http://tfl.nu/gq37

Replies (3) Good night (788) Bad night (1245)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....

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(734): Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters..... http://tfl.nu/8dbk

Replies (5) Good night (1761) Bad night (608)
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(207): View more from Maine

you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit

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(207): you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit http://tfl.nu/zspy

Replies (3) Good night (1516) Bad night (324)
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(914): View more from New York

He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.

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(914): He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/pgtg

Replies (3) Good night (1939) Bad night (527)
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(941): View more from Florida

So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.

(941): View more from Florida

I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.

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(941): So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar. (941): I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket. http://tfl.nu/b83h

Replies (4) Good night (530) Bad night (639)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow

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(201): i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow http://tfl.nu/q6h5

Replies (2) Good night (444) Bad night (176)

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