That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
