Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
