Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
