I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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