Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
