I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
