Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Is Oprah even human
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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