he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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