How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
