Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Will exercising make me less horny?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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