We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You are the jesus of drinking
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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