google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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