hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
