Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Never underestimate the power of titties
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
